She had a beautiful connection with a window of their bedroom. Every morning she woke up, she first saw lying on her bed the window with its curtains open- sometimes to realize that its still dark outside and she can sleep for more time and sometimes to realize that its dawn and rather late to cook and pack boxes for him. Not just this, there was something more in relation with this window in her life. When she went to bed with him the best thing that she did was to stare at the limitless sky through the window from the bed - look at the moon which peeped through and remembered her soulmate and sent telepathic massages though they were no more in touch and smiled. On other days she tried counting the stars that she could see. There were also days she could see nothing in the sky just the darkness spread - yet she never failed to imagine the beautiful moon and the twinkling starts and always slept happily smiling.
In the mornings, after finishing her chores, with a mug of coffee she would return to the same window contemplating over things in her life. She would stand there watching the third floor of another building where she observed a father and a mother holding their kid and trying to feed it. The mother many a times even said to the baby, "Look at the aunty there!"and when the child saw her standing by the window the mother pushed a morsel into its mouth and it cried protesting. There were also very short conversations conducted between the mother of the child and her like :"Come home aunty", "finished the chores aunty?".... and the reply was only "Yes" always from her. She always got disgusted with the use of the word aunty!!! she believed she was much younger to be called an aunty!!!! This though made her laugh sometimes!!!
Through the same window she also saw a little boy who stood and stared the empty space next to his house where some pigs and dogs slept early in the mornings. He resided in the second floor of the building below the house of the child who protested to eat. When children wake up in the morning they tend to stand numb staring at things that they see and try to make place for them in their fantasy world, she thought. It was a calm location and she could just read the kids mind and smiled lovingly. This entire fantastic event of connecting with the kid always ended with his father or mother coming to the window and checking what the boy was looking at for a second and the
n drag him from the window shouting, "what are you watching, get into the bathroom at once", "Are you not going to school?", and the boy was no more near the window. She missed the innocent face at the window many times. She continued standing there and looking at the same pigs and dogs- some sleeping, some in a playful mood and wondered how the boy enjoyed watching them.
Standing their, by the window she dreamed of being a mother and having her own kid and raising it against all the norms of the society but the thought was equally scary for her. This thought had recurred in her mind many a times. But it was not the same that day. She ran to the adjacent room, took a sheet of scrape paper, unable to control her emotions wrote:
VOICES OF A MOTHER: TO BE
She should not become a victim
Nor should he be a doer
NO NO... the other way
He should not become a victim
Nor should she be a doer
If SHE.... oh no.....
I will have to live long to protect her
If HE.... he shall imitate his father
They can inherit qualities form anyone...
Those lies, the taunts, using someone
NO not at all a girl
nor it should be the boy
History of parents repeat in small quanta in their children.
I can see my mothers' history repeating in me
And mine shall repeat in her
or in him will be his....no and never
should this happen.
I shall adopt and give life
and he or she shall not take his or my name
HE or SHE would be called SUCCESS and
shall write his or her own destiny without any boundaries.
24. 2. 2017
She then laughed and smiled and then rather returning to the window opened the door and stood out with confidence, took a deep breathe sipped with joy the coffee which had turned cold and said to herself, "This tastes much better", and laughed .
